12 Things Boys Like
by ActualWeeb
Summary: A.K.A, 12 Reasons Why You Should Never Ask Ronald Weasley For Advice About Boys. Since Ron's suggestions all turned out horribly, Bella (fem!Harry) goes to Lavender and Parvati for help, telling them about the 12 embarrassing things that she did in front of her crush, Cedric Diggory. Cover by Rinmaru
1. Operation: Song

_**ActualWeeb: Oh, look. A new story. This story is basically just 12 one-shots of Bella being awkward and trying to talk to Cedric. Annieways, here we go!**_

 _ **Bella: *clears throat***_

 _ **ActualWeeb: Ugh. I don't own Harry Potter.**_

* * *

"Lavender! Lavender, wait up!" Bella yelled, sprinting through the grass, stopping by the lake, in front of a confused Lavender Brown.

"Yes, Bella?" Lavender asked.

"I need your help," she said. "It's about a boy."

"Ooh!" Parvati squealed. "Is it that Hufflepuff boy?" Bella flushed.

"Er- yes. I need to ask him to the ball, but all my attempts have been futile."

"Your attempts?" Lavender asked. "You've been taking advice from _Ron,_ haven't you?" Bella's cheeks were once again painted pink.

"No- maybe- yes," she admitted. "But I can't seem to talk to Cedric at all!" Lavender pursed her lips and sat down, followed by Parvati.

"Okay," the blonde announced. "Tell us everything."

"Wh-what?!"

"Tell us everything," Parvati repeated. "We need to know how you two interact, or if you've embarrassed yourself so badly that you should give up."

"Thanks for the confidence boost, Parvati," Bella groaned before sitting cross-legged in front of them. "Fine. I'll tell you."

* * *

"Guys like girls who can sing."

That's what Ron told me. Luckily, I _could_ sing. I could _hella_ sing. I write songs instead of writing in a diary! Of course I can sing.

So, I wrote a song for him. Creepy, right? ("No, that's actually cute!" Parvati giggled.)

So one day after class, I caught up with Cedric and just started singing. Right then and there. But as it turns out, he had muggle earbuds in! He took them out _just_ as I got to the chorus, which was "I really, really, really, really, really, really like you!" But I panicked and sang "I really, really, really, really, really, really HATE OPPRESSIVE GENDER NORMS!" and ran away. I ran like the little coward I am. I mean, how am I supposed to have rational thought when looking into those eyes?

So, basically, now Cedric thinks I'm some crazy feminist singer. Which I am.


	2. Operation: Brown Eyes

**_ActualWeeb: I don't own Harry Potter._**

* * *

"Guys like girls with brown eyes."

The only problem is: I don't have brown eyes. In fact, I adore my green eyes as-is. But Cedric would like brown eyes, right? Wrong. That day I charmed my eyes brown and stared at him with wide eyes for the entire day, hoping he would notice. After lunch I just decided to try and talk to him.

"Hi, Cedric!" I said, looking at him with wide eyes.

"Hey, Bella," he replied uneasily.

I smiled, and unknowing of what to say, said, "What do you think about computers?" Then he looked at me funny, so I ran away.

And he didn't even notice my eyes.


	3. Operation: Independence

**_ActualWeeb: Still don't own Harry Potter._**

* * *

"Guys like girls who are independent."

And what's the most independent thing in the world? America! That's the first thing anyone thinks of when they hear 'independence'! ("No, no, it's really not," Lavender said.) And what's the thing America is associated with? It's flag! And what song was written about America's flag? It's anthem! So the only logical thing to do would be to wear a red, white, and blue dress while running around campus singing the Star Spangled Banner, right? ("Wrong," Lavender and Parvati sighed in unison.)

Sadly, I wasn't so wise.

Once I saw Cedric, I ran through the courtyard screaming the American national anthem trying to get his attention. It worked, sadly. He asked me what I was doing. I screamed and ran away.


	4. Operation: Intelligence

_**ActualWeeb: I don't own Harry Potter.**_

* * *

 **"Guys like girls who are smart."**

Well, I'm more smart than I let on. It's hard for me to make myself do well in school, though, because all my life, it was beaten into me that I wasn't allowed to do any better than my cousin, Dudley. ("That's horrid!" Lavender gasped.) So I decided to finally let it show. But when I walked up to Cedric, I got flustered and screamed, "BLACK HOLES ARE REALLY COOL!" and ran away. Do wizards even know what black holes are?


	5. Operation: Humour

_**ActualWeeb: I had SO many opportunities for innuendos in this. Be glad I kept it rated K.**_

 _ **I don't own Harry Potter.**_

* * *

 **"Boys like girls who are funny."**

Well, what's funny? _Puns!_ And what ball-based humour can I use? _Literal balls!_ ("I'm beginning to worry about you," Parvati muttered.) Anyways, I created a toy gun that shot out a variety of balls. They all had question marks drawn on them as if to say, "Ball?" So, logically, I shot them at his head from a distance. ("Oh, my," whispered Lavender.) He looked around and caught my eyes. I was about to go talk to him, but ended up running away. Again.


	6. Operation: Culture

**ActualWeeb: For a drabble series, this updates rlly slow. Sorry about that. Also, a Guest reviewer said something about this relating to Twilight, but let me assure you, I hate Twilight. I should've mentioned it earlier, but this story isn't a Twilight crossover and has nothing to do with it. I just like the name "Bella".**

* * *

 **"Boys like girls who know a lot about...crap, I dunno, culture."**

Well, lucky for me, Dudley loved to watch anime. When he wasn't home, I'd watch it, too. So, using my Japanese knowledge, I put toast in my mouth, walked behind Cedric, and screamed, "NOTICE ME, SENPAI!" He spun around, but didn't see me, for alas, I had fled.


	7. Operation: Cups

**"Boys like girls who have big boobs."**

Well, I have decent boobs already, so I stuffed some socks in a bra I charmed to push my boobs up. So later that day, I purposefully tripped in front of Cedric. He helped me up, but no matter how many times I moved in an angle that would show off my chest, he didn't notice. Ugh. Hufflepuffs.


	8. Operation: Hair

**ActualWeeb: Hey guys, I forgot to mention in the last chapter, but if you have any idea for a "boys like girls who..." topic, I'll gladly accept the suggestions. A major part of why updates are so slow is I can't ever think of topics for chapters. Preferably, topics related to Hermione would be best. Because let's be real, Ron is head over heels for that girl.**

* * *

 **"Boys like girls who have curly hair."**

Okay, that's no problem! Right? Wrong. I put my hair in hair curlers that night. ("Wait, is that what happened to my hair curlers...?" Lavender asked.) When I woke up, it was SO frizzy! Like Hermione's hair! I confronted Ron angrily, huffing, "Is this what you wanted?" And he simply replied, "Yeah."

So, when I saw Cedric that day, I ran up to him, but I got my hair stuck in a tree branch! He helped me get unstuck, and before he could comment on my hair, I ran away.


	9. Operation: Rules

**"Boys like girls who follow the rules."**

Well, I had discovered that a few Hufflepuffs had snuck Firewhisky in and were about to have a party at midnight, so I went to Cedric just before then, who had been paroling the halls that night. He thanked me for telling him, but said he would have to take points off of me, too, since I was out of bed. And he took a lot of points, actually. And the next morning, the Gryffindors were all in a sour mood because someone had lost points. I think he was mad that I forced him to get fellow Hufflepuffs in trouble, now that I think about it.


	10. Operation: Cats

**"Boys like girls with cats."**

"Well, I found a cat walking around campus. She didn't seem to have an owner. I took her back to the dorms that night, and the next day after class, which was the same day McGonnagal was gone, to give you a timeframe, I ran up to Cedric, and shoved the cat in his face, yelling, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" The cat hissed, scratched me, and ran off. She had weird glasses-shaped marking around her eyes, too.


	11. Operation: Hardcore

**"Boys like girls who can kick butt when neessecary."**

Well, I'm the most kick-butt girl there is! Aside from Hermione, of course. Luckily, that day, Malfoy began taunting me in front of Cedric. So I beat him up. Cedric took points because I resorted to violence. But hey, at least he took points off of Malfoy, too. And Malfoy lost more points than me!


	12. Operation: Parchment (END)

**ActualWeeb: Wow, is it really the end? Because this story took way longer for me to write I'm so sorry guys anyways here we go with this trainwreck I don't own Harry Potter**

* * *

 **"Boys like girls who smell like parchment.''**

* * *

Well, it's not like there's a parchment perfume! And if there is, I don't have it. The only person I know who manages to smell like parchment is Hermione.  
So, the best I could do was sow a dress with parchment- I was taught to do so because my relatives claimed I had to "earn my keep", and sowing their clothes was one of my jobs. ("That's...borderline abusive," Parvati whispered to Lavender, though Bella didn't hear.) I wore this dress out and walked up to Cedric. He asked me why I was wearing a dress made of parchment. Not knowing what to say, I replied with, "I guess I was feeling a bit...parched?"

I then ran away, feeling embarrassed. I changed back into my normal clothes and ran up to you guys. And... here we are.

* * *

Bella finished her story with a sigh. Lavender and Parvati looked at each other, as if silently communicating, before Lavender spoke up.

"First of all, Bella, promise me you will never ask Ron Weasley for dating advice."

"I promise," Bella replied.

"Good. Second of all, not all guys like the same thing. You'll have a better chance just being yourself. If he doesn't like you, that's okay," Lavender explained.

"But if a guy tells you to change something for him, like your weight, personality, whatever," Parvati added, "He's a piece of trash who is not worth your time." Lavender nodded in agreement.

"Third, I'm pretty sure Diggory digs you- pun intended. Just walk up to him and explain that you like him, I'm almost certain he'll accept your confession," Lavender said.

"In fact, he's been behind us this entire time," Parvati shrugged.

"Wait, what?!" Bella gasped.

"Hey," Cedric said, poking his head out from the bush that he had been leaning against, keeping him hidden. "I came here to read and couldn't help but overhear your conversation. And Lavender's right- I do like you. You're super pretty and really cool- and the way you faced that dragon was hella amazing." Bella flushed.

"Well, I- er, had some help, I guess."

"Still, you were awesome. Wanna go to the Yule Ball with me?"

"Heck yeah!" Bella exclaimed. Behind her, Lavender and Parvati high-fived each other. Another cute couple successfully paired together. Now all they had to do was see about Ron and Hermione...  
 ** _END._**


End file.
